“God Himself is the rule and mode of virtue. Our faith is measured by divine truth, our hope by the greatness of His power and faithful affection, our charity by His goodness. His truth, power and goodness outreach any measure of reason. We can certainly never believe, trust or love God more than, or even as much as, we should. Extravagance is impossible. Here is no virtuous moderation, no measurable mean; the more extreme our activity, the better we are.”
― Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica, 5 Vols
Through the intercession of St. Thomas Aquinas,
Grant me grace, O merciful God,
to desire ardently all that is pleasing to Thee,
to examine it prudently,
to acknowledge it truthfully,
and to accomplish it perfectly,
for the praise and glory of Thy name.
In particular, please obtain the favor I ask during this novena.
[Make your request here…]
Grant me, O Lord my God,
a mind to know you,
a heart to seek you,
wisdom to find you,
conduct pleasing to you,
faithful perseverance in waiting for you,
and a hope of finally embracing you.
Saints Inspiring Saints – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles
Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor explore Chapter 9 of St. Teresa of Avila’s autobiography in part two of a two-part episode, going into further detail about a profound moment in the life of St. Teresa of Avila, where she reflects on her own spiritual journey and draws parallels with St. Augustine’s conversion.
From that, Dr. Lilles talks about the interconnectedness of saints, and how they highlight the importance of witnessing, continuous conversion, and not seeking consolations in prayer. He also discusses the importance of seeking God with a pure heart, renouncing sin, and being actively receptive to God’s gifts in and during contemplative prayer.
Discerning Hearts reflection questions for this episode:
Reflecting on Transformative Moments: How do transformative moments in the lives of saints, such as St. Teresa’s encounter with a statue of Jesus, inspire and guide our own spiritual journey?
Influence of Saints on Spiritual Lineage: Consider the idea of saints influencing one another, forming a spiritual lineage. How does this interconnectedness impact the broader Christian community and individual believers?
The Role of Witnessing in Faith: Explore the significance of witnessing in the faith journey. How can sharing personal experiences of conversion and grace inspire and support others in their spiritual growth?
Conversion as a Continuous Journey: Reflect on the concept of continuous conversion presented in the episode. How does this perspective challenge or complement the understanding of spiritual growth in your own life?
Balancing Emotions and Grace in Prayer: How can one strike a balance between seeking emotional consolations in prayer and actively focusing on maintaining a clear conscience, turning away from sin, and being receptive to God’s grace?
Contemplative Graces in Prayer: Consider the beauty of contemplative graces and the notion of being actively receptive to God’s gifts in prayer. How can fostering an actively receptive disposition enhance your prayer life?
Seeking God with a Pure Heart: Reflect on the importance of seeking God with a pure heart, as discussed in the episode. How might this focus influence your approach to prayer, relationship with God, and the journey of faith?
An excerpt from Chapter 9, discussed in this episode:
“At this time, the Confessions of St. Augustine were given me. Our Lord seems to have so ordained it, for I did not seek them myself, neither had I ever seen them before. I had a very great devotion to St. Augustine, because the monastery in which I lived when I was yet in the world was of his Order; and also because he had been a sinner—for I used to find great comfort in those Saints whom, after they had sinned, our Lord converted to Himself. I thought they would help me, and that, as our Lord had forgiven them, so also He would forgive me. One thing, however, there was that troubled me—I have spoken of it before—our Lord had called them but once, and they never relapsed; while my relapses were now so many. This it was that vexed me. But calling to mind the love that He bore me, I took courage again. Of His mercy I never doubted once, but I did very often of myself.
O my God, I amazed at the hardness of my heart amidst so many succours from Thee. I am filled with dread when I see how little I could do with myself, and how I was clogged, so that I could not resolve to give myself entirely to God. When I began to read the Confessions, I thought I saw myself there described, and began to recommend myself greatly to this glorious Saint. When I came to his conversion, and read how he heard that voice in the garden, it seemed to me nothing less than that our Lord had uttered it for me: I felt so in my heart. I remained for some time lost in tears, in great inward affliction and distress. O my God, what a soul has to suffer because it has lost the liberty it had of being mistress over itself! and what torments it has to endure! I wonder now how I could live in torments so great: God be praised Who gave me life, so that I might escape from so fatal a death! I believe that my soul obtained great strength from His Divine Majesty, and that He must have heard my cry, and had compassion upon so many tears.”
Anthony Lilles, S.T.D. is an associate professor and the academic dean of Saint John’s Seminary in Camarillo as well as the academic advisor for Juan Diego House of Priestly Formation for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. For over twenty years he served the Church in Northern Colorado where he joined and eventually served as dean of the founding faculty of Saint John Vianney Theological Seminary in Denver. Through the years, clergy, seminarians, religious and lay faithful have benefited from his lectures and retreat conferences on the Carmelite Doctors of the Church and the writings of St. Elisabeth of the Trinity.
The Reception of the First Grace – The Life of St. Benedict – The Holy Rule of St. Benedict with Fr. Mauritius Wilde O.S.B
The podcast takes a closer look at St. Benedict, a fascinating historical figure, through the lens of his Rule. Father Mauritius emphasizes St. Benedict’s timeless wisdom, exploring how the Rule serves as a spiritual guide even in today’s world. The discussion touches upon St. Benedict’s biography, written by Pope Gregory, offering unique insights into the saint’s life and miracles.
The conversation unfolds with an exploration of St. Benedict’s early life, born to distinguished parents in Nor, Italy. The narrative highlights his journey to Rome for education, where he experienced a profound shift in perspective, leading him to turn away from worldly pleasures and embrace religious life. Father Mauritius underscores the courage and wisdom displayed by St. Benedict in defying his father’s expectations and choosing a different path, guided by a higher calling.
Much of the conversation reflects on the grace of detachment in St. Benedict’s life. The narrative unfolds how St. Benedict’s detachment from his father was not a rejection but a freeing process, aligning with the broader spiritual principles discussed in the Rule. Father Mauritius draws parallels between St. Benedict’s journey and the challenges individuals face in detaching from earthly expectations, fostering a deeper connection with God.
The podcast also addresses the role of prayer and experience in St. Benedict’s discernment process. Father Mauritius emphasizes the importance of integrating personal experiences with a prayerful perspective, mirroring St. Benedict’s own journey of discovery and transformation.
Overall, the episode provides a rich exploration of St. Benedict’s life and teachings, offering valuable insights into applying his spiritual principles in contemporary contexts. The engaging dialogue between Kris McGregor and Father Mauritius Wilde OSB makes for a thought-provoking and enlightening listening experience for anyone interested in spiritual growth and the enduring relevance of St. Benedict’s Rule.
Discerning Hearts Reflection Questions:
St. Benedict’s Detachment: Explore the parallels between St. Benedict’s journey of detachment and your own spiritual path.
Fatherly Influences: Reflect on the impact of earthly fathers on life choices, considering expectations, conflicts, and navigated detours.
Prayer and Detachment: Examine how prayer has played a role in discerning God’s will and detaching from worldly expectations.
Integration of Prayer and Experience: Delve into the relationship between prayer and personal experiences in making major life decisions.
Detachment and True Freedom: Reflect on detachment not as a breaking away but as a journey toward genuine freedom in various aspects of life.
Reflecting on Emotions: Consider elements that made St. Benedict thankful, angry, or sad regarding his father, and apply this reflection to your own experiences.
Detachment and Absent Fathers: For those who lacked a strong relationship with earthly fathers, explore how St. Benedict’s detachment might inspire a deeper connection with the heavenly Father.
Healing Wounds from Absence: Reflect on the impact of absent or deceased fathers, and consider how prayer and spiritual reflection can aid in healing.
Applying Spiritual Law: Contemplate the spiritual law mentioned by Father Mauritius, understanding its application in daily life.
Sharing Reflections: Consider sharing your reflections with a friend or mentor, fostering a deeper understanding of St. Benedict’s teachings in your faith journey.
INTRODUCTION. THERE was a man of venerable life, Benedict by name and grace, who from the time of his very childhood carried the heart of an old man. His demeanour indeed surpassing his age, he gave himself no disport or pleasure, but living here upon earth he despised the world with all the glory thereof, at such time as he might have most freely enjoyed it. He was born in the province of Nursia of honourable parentage and sent to Rome to study the liberal sciences. But when he saw there many through the uneven paths of vice run headlong
to their own ruin, he drew back his foot, but new-set in the world, lest, in the search of human knowledge, he might also fall into the same dangerous precipice. Contemning therefore learning and studies and abandoning his father’s house and goods, he desired only to please God in a virtuous life. Therefore he departed skilfully ignorant and wisely unlearned.
Father Mauritius Wilde, OSB, Ph.D., did his philosophical, theological and doctoral studies in Europe. He is the author of several books and directs retreats regularly. He serves as Prior at Sant’Anselmo in Rome. For more information about the ministry of the Missionary Benedictines of Christ the King Priory in Schuyler, NE
St. Teresa’s Transformative Moment – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles
Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor explore Chapter 9 of St. Teresa of Avila’s autobiography in part one of a two-part episode, starting with her transformative encounter with a statue of the wounded Christ. This pivotal moment leads to deep conversion as Teresa, tired of a dual life, experiences tears of compunction, realizing Christ’s sacrificial love.
Dr. Lilles highlights the method of prayer Teresa adopts, particularly the importance of using one’s imagination to picture Christ during prayer and using that as a connection to the remembrance of Christ and the transformative power of returning to moments of grace through prayer.
Discerning Hearts reflection questions for this episode:
How do external objects of devotion, like statues, aid your prayer life?
In what ways can spiritual exhaustion manifest in your own journey, hindering genuine peace in prayer?
Reflect on a moment when you felt spiritually vulnerable and encountered God’s love.
Consider Teresa’s commitment not to backslide. How can you maintain spiritual progress amidst life’s challenges?
Explore the role of tears in contrition and conversion. How has compunction (the gift of tears) played a part in your spiritual growth?
Reflect on your prayer methods. How does your imagination contribute to your encounters with Christ?
In what ways can you incorporate the remembrance of Christ into your daily prayer life for transformative effects?
An excerpt from Chapter 9, discussed in this episode:
“My soul was now grown weary; and the miserable habits it had contracted would not suffer it to rest, though it was desirous of doing so. It came to pass one day, when I went into the oratory, that I saw a picture which they had put by there, and which had been procured for a certain feast observed in the house. It was a representation of Christ most grievously wounded; and so devotional, that the very sight of it, when I saw it, moved me—so well did it show forth that which He suffered for us. So keenly did I feel the evil return I had made for those wounds, that I thought my heart was breaking. I threw myself on the ground beside it, my tears flowing plenteously, and implored Him to strengthen me once for all, so that I might never offend Him any more.
I had a very great devotion to the glorious Magdalene, and very frequently used to think of her conversion—especially when I went to Communion. As I knew for certain that our Lord was then within me, I used to place myself at His feet, thinking that my tears would not be despised. I did not know what I was saying; only He did great things for me, in that He was pleased I should shed those tears, seeing that I so soon forgot that impression. I used to recommend myself to that glorious Saint, that she might obtain my pardon.
But this last time, before that picture of which I am speaking, I seem to have made greater progress; for I was now very distrustful of myself, placing all my confidence in God. It seems to me that I said to Him then that I would not rise up till He granted my petition. I do certainly believe that this was of great service to me, because I have grown better ever since.”
Anthony Lilles, S.T.D. is an associate professor and the academic dean of Saint John’s Seminary in Camarillo as well as the academic advisor for Juan Diego House of Priestly Formation for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. For over twenty years he served the Church in Northern Colorado where he joined and eventually served as dean of the founding faculty of Saint John Vianney Theological Seminary in Denver. Through the years, clergy, seminarians, religious and lay faithful have benefited from his lectures and retreat conferences on the Carmelite Doctors of the Church and the writings of St. Elisabeth of the Trinity.
Into the Heart of Conversion – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles
Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor explore Chapter 8 of St. Teresa of Avila’s autobiography, delving into her struggles with prayer and sin. The conversation emphasizes the courage required to persevere in prayer despite personal sinfulness, with St. Teresa stressing the transformative power of trusting in the Lord’s mercy for a profound conversion.
Dr. Lilles notes St. Teresa’s early articulation of themes found in later works, praising her unique writing style. They discuss the intrinsic link between prayer and sin, the significance of facing sins in God’s presence, and conclude by highlighting the transformative power of contemplative prayer amid life’s challenges.
Discerning Hearts reflection questions for this episode:
Prayer and Transformation: Reflect on how your personal prayer life has led to transformation in your own life, similar to St. Teresa of Avila’s experience.
Sin and Prayer: How do you balance the awareness of your sinfulness with the call to deeper prayer, as St. Teresa did?
Fear in Prayer: Have you experienced fear or reluctance in approaching prayer, and how have you overcome it?
The Role of Silence: Consider the role of silence in your prayer life. How does silence help you connect more deeply with God?
Friendship with Jesus: Reflect on the concept of mental prayer as “friendly intercourse” with Jesus. How does this perspective change your approach to prayer?
Perseverance in Prayer: Reflect on times when you found it challenging to persevere in prayer. What motivated you to continue?
Eucharistic Adoration: How does Eucharistic adoration fit into your spiritual life, and what fruits have you experienced from this devotion?
Confronting Sin through Prayer: How does prayer help you confront and deal with sin in your life?
The Impact of Homilies: Consider how homilies and teachings at Mass have influenced your prayer life and spiritual growth.
Seeing Jesus in Need: Reflect on the practice of visualizing Jesus in poverty and need, as suggested by St. Teresa. How does this affect your relationship with Him?
An excerpt from Chapter 8, discussed in this episode:
“It is not without reason that I have dwelt so long on this portion of my life. I see clearly that it will give no one pleasure to see anything so base; and certainly I wish those who may read this to have me in abhorrence, as a soul so obstinate and so ungrateful to Him Who did so much for me. I could wish, too, I had permission to say how often at this time I failed in my duty to God, because I was not leaning on the strong pillar of prayer. I passed nearly twenty years on this stormy sea, falling and rising, but rising to no good purpose, seeing that I went and fell again. My life was one of perfection; but it was so mean, that I scarcely made any account whatever of venial sins; and though of mortal sins I was afraid, I was not so afraid of them as I ought to have been, because I did not avoid the perilous occasions of them. I may say that it was the most painful life that can be imagined, because I had no sweetness in God, and no pleasure in the world.
When I was in the midst of the pleasures of the world, the remembrance of what I owed to God made me sad; and when I was praying to God, my worldly affections disturbed me. This is so painful a struggle, that I know not how I could have borne it for a month, let alone for so many years. Nevertheless, I can trace distinctly the great mercy of our Lord to me, while thus immersed in the world, in that I had still the courage to pray. I say courage, because I know of nothing in the whole world which requires greater courage than plotting treason against the King, knowing that He knows it, and yet never withdrawing from His presence; for, granting that we are always in the presence of God, yet it seems to me that those who pray arc in His presence in a very different sense; for they, as it were, see that He is looking upon them; while others may be for days together without even once recollecting that God sees them.”
Excerpt from Chapter 8 from “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”
Anthony Lilles, S.T.D. is an associate professor and the academic dean of Saint John’s Seminary in Camarillo as well as the academic advisor for Juan Diego House of Priestly Formation for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. For over twenty years he served the Church in Northern Colorado where he joined and eventually served as dean of the founding faculty of Saint John Vianney Theological Seminary in Denver. Through the years, clergy, seminarians, religious and lay faithful have benefited from his lectures and retreat conferences on the Carmelite Doctors of the Church and the writings of St. Elisabeth of the Trinity.
Struggles with Prayer and Relationships – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles
Join Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor as they dive into the life of St. Teresa of Avila, using her autobiography, “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”.
In this podcast episode, Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor focus on Chapter 7 and her spiritual journey and struggles. They discuss how Teresa’s illness led to a renewed connection with prayer and the discovery of St. Joseph’s devotion. The conversation highlights her difficulties with prayer due to distractions and the influence of negative relationships, particularly those not conducive to her religious life. A significant part of the discussion revolves around her relationship with her father and how this influenced her spiritual growth, leading to a deeper understanding of prayer and devotion amidst life’s challenges. The episode emphasizes the importance of dedicated prayer time and maintaining spiritual focus despite external distractions.
Discerning Hearts reflection questions for this episode:
How can personal relationships impact our spiritual journey, as seen in St. Teresa’s life?
In what ways do struggles and challenges deepen our faith and prayer life?
How can we balance our spiritual commitments with our earthly responsibilities, similar to St. Teresa?
What insights can we gain from St. Teresa’s relationship with her father about honesty in our spiritual lives?
How does the concept of praying without ceasing apply to modern-day challenges?
An excerpt for Chapter 7, discussed in this episode:
“The reason why they thought I was not so wicked was this: they saw that I, who was so young, and exposed to so many occasions of sin, withdrew myself so often into solitude for prayer, read much, spoke of God, that I liked to have His image painted in many places, to have an oratory of my own, and furnish it with objects of devotion, that I spoke ill of no one, and other things of the same kind in me which have the appearance of virtue. Yet all the while—I was so vain—I knew how to procure respect for myself by doing those things which in the world are usually regarded with respect.
In consequence of this, they gave me as much liberty as they did to the oldest nuns, and even more, and had great confidence in me; for as to taking any liberty for myself, or doing anything without leave—such as conversing through the door, or in secret, or by night—I do not think I could have brought myself to speak with anybody in the monastery in that way, and I never did it; for our Lord held me back. It seemed to me—for I considered many things carefully and of set purpose—that it would be a very evil deed on my part, wicked as I was, to risk the credit of so many nuns, who were all good—as if everything else I did was well done! In truth, the evil I did was not the result of deliberation, as this would have been, if I had done it, although it was too much so.
Therefore, I think that it did me much harm to be in a monastery not enclosed. The liberty which those who were good might have with advantage—they not being obliged to do more than they do, because they had not bound themselves to enclosure—would certainly have led me, who am wicked, straight to hell, if our Lord, by so many remedies and means of His most singular mercy, had not delivered me out of that danger—and it is, I believe, the very greatest danger—namely, a monastery of women unenclosed—yea, more, I think it is, for those who will be wicked, a road to hell, rather than a help to their weakness. This is not to be understood of my monastery; for there are so many there who in the utmost sincerity, and in great perfection, serve our Lord, so that His Majesty, according to His goodness, cannot but be gracious unto them; neither is it one of those which are most open for all religious observances are kept in it; and I am speaking only of others which I have seen and known.”
Excerpt from Chapter 7 from “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”
Anthony Lilles, S.T.D. is an associate professor and the academic dean of Saint John’s Seminary in Camarillo as well as the academic advisor for Juan Diego House of Priestly Formation for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. For over twenty years he served the Church in Northern Colorado where he joined and eventually served as dean of the founding faculty of Saint John Vianney Theological Seminary in Denver. Through the years, clergy, seminarians, religious and lay faithful have benefited from his lectures and retreat conferences on the Carmelite Doctors of the Church and the writings of St. Elisabeth of the Trinity.
00:00-01:41: Introduction to the podcast
01:41-02:11: Dr. Lilles and McGregor discuss St. Teresa’s life.
02:11-04:25: Focus on a chapter in St. Teresa’s autobiography about her struggles with prayer and relationships.
04:25-06:53: Discussion on how personal relationships can impact one’s spiritual journey.
06:53-08:17: The importance of prayer in religious life and the challenges posed by external relationships.
08:17-10:35: Discussion on continuous prayer and balancing spiritual and earthly responsibilities.
10:35-13:30: The influence of friendships on spiritual growth.
16:02-18:31: Examination of St. Teresa’s relationship with her father and its impact on her spiritual life.
18:31-22:01: Detailed look at a pivotal conversation between St. Teresa and her father.
22:01-24:47: Reflections on accompanying someone at the time of death.
24:47-27:59: The significance of dedicated prayer time in different life stages.
27:59-30:44: Discussion on overcoming self-doubt and trusting in God’s love.
30:44-31:59: Closing reflections and encouragement for deep prayer.
A Spiritual Awakening Through Suffering – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles
Join Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor as they dive into the life of St. Teresa of Avila, using her autobiography, “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”. In this episode, Dr. Lilles discuss Teresa’s novitiate experience, where she was considered dead for four days.
Her severe illness, questionable medical treatment, and subsequent recovery are recounted, emphasizing her gratitude for God’s grace and a renewed commitment to prayer during a three-year recovery marked by comas and pain. Teresa’s struggle with discouragement during her recovery becomes a central theme, with a focus on her fear of offending God and reluctance to confront her imperfections. The concept of fear of the Lord is explored, distinguishing it from a fearful approach to God, with Dr. Lilles stressing the need to acknowledge one’s limitations, surrender to God, and trust in His mercy.
The transformative nature of prayer is also highlighted, acknowledging that engaging in prayer may initially disrupt one’s life. However, through prayer, individuals come to realize their dependence on God and His guidance through struggles. The potential fear of God asking individuals to do challenging things is discussed, with an emphasis on trust in His intentions for spiritual growth.
“After those four days, during which I was insensible, so great was my distress, that our Lord alone knoweth the intolerable sufferings I endured. My tongue was bitten to pieces; there was a choking in my throat because I had taken nothing, and because of my weakness, so that I could not swallow even a drop of water; all my bones seemed to be out of joint, and the disorder of my head was extreme. I was bent together like a coil of ropes—for to this was I brought by the torture of those days—unable to move either arm, or foot, or hand, or head, any more than if I had been dead, unless others moved me; I could move, however, I think, one finger of my right hand. Then, as to touching me, that was impossible, for I was so bruised that I could not endure it. They used to move me in a sheet, one holding one end, and another the other. This lasted till Palm Sunday.
The only comfort I had was this—if no one came near me, my pains frequently ceased; and then, because I had a little rest, I considered myself well, for I was afraid my patience would fail: and thus I was exceedingly happy when I saw myself free from those pains which were so sharp and constant, though in the cold fits of an intermittent fever, which were most violent, they were still unendurable. My dislike of food was very great.
I was now so anxious to return to my monastery, that I had myself conveyed thither in the state I was in. There they received alive one whom they had waited for as dead; but her body was worse than dead: the sight of it could only give pain. It is impossible to describe my extreme weakness, for I was nothing but bones. I remained in this state, as I have already said,126 more than eight months; and was paralytic, though getting better, for about three years. I praised God when I began to crawl on my hands and knees. I bore all this with great resignation, and, if I except the beginning of my illness, with great joy; for all this was as nothing in comparison with the pains and tortures I had to bear at first. I was resigned to the will of God, even if He left me in this state for ever. My anxiety about the recovery of my health seemed to be grounded on my desire to pray in solitude, as I had been taught; for there were no means of doing so in the infirmary. I went to confession most frequently, spoke much about God, and in such a way as to edify everyone; and they all marvelled at the patience which our Lord gave me—for if it had not come from the hand 34 of His Majesty, it seemed impossible to endure so great an affliction with so great a joy.”
Excerpt from Chapter 6 from “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”
Listen Here to the Discerning Hearts audio recording of “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus” by St. Teresa of Avila
Anthony Lilles, S.T.D. is an associate professor and the academic dean of Saint John’s Seminary in Camarillo as well as the academic advisor for Juan Diego House of Priestly Formation for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. For over twenty years he served the Church in Northern Colorado where he joined and eventually served as dean of the founding faculty of Saint John Vianney Theological Seminary in Denver. Through the years, clergy, seminarians, religious and lay faithful have benefited from his lectures and retreat conferences on the Carmelite Doctors of the Church and the writings of St. Elisabeth of the Trinity.
0:00-4:35: Introduction and gratitude for exploring St. Teresa’s life.
4:35-8:30: Discussion of St. Teresa’s novitiate experience, being considered dead for four days, and the significance of this event.
8:30-11:25: St. Teresa’s severe illness, questionable medical treatment, and her recovery marked by comas and pain.
11:25-15:05: Brief discussion of the nature of St. Teresa’s ailment and parallels with modern medicine.
15:05-17:15: The importance of cultivating mindfulness of death and how serious illness can foster such awareness.
17:15-20:25: St. Teresa’s struggle with discouragement during her recovery, fear of offending God, and the concept of fear of the Lord.
20:25-23:20: Msgr. Esseff’s insight on approaching God with humility, acknowledging limitations, and trusting in God’s mercy.
23:20-27:05: St. Teresa’s discouragement due to a misunderstanding of fear and failure to accept her position as a beggar before God.
27:05-30:30: The transformative nature of prayer, disrupting one’s life, and realizing dependence on God through struggles.
30:30-33:45: Potential fear of God asking individuals to do challenging things and the importance of trust in His intentions.
33:45-37:20: Caution against the abuse of devotions, true devotion involving surrender to God’s will, and St. Teresa’s devotion to St. Joseph.
37:20-40:30: St. Teresa’s upcoming journey of embracing the gift of prayer and learning from St. Joseph’s silent guidance.
40:30-44:00: St. Joseph’s continued care for humanity and his role in St. Teresa’s reform, including the establishment of the first convent dedicated to him.
44:00-45:38: Conclusion and summary of the overarching theme emphasizing humility, surrender, and trust in God’s mercy.
Safeguarding the Spirit – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles
Join Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor as they dive into the life of St. Teresa of Avila, using her autobiography, “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”. In this episode, Dr. Lilles discusses cultivating healthy and fitting relationships, with a particular focus on their spiritual implications. Drawing from Chapter 5 of her autobiography, he uses the example of St. Teresa of Avila and how her spiritual journey was influenced by a priest engaged in an inappropriate relationship, underscoring the perils of developing emotional bonds that deviate from the appropriate roles individuals play in one’s life, such as priests, spiritual guides, or even spouses. A cautionary note is sounded against delving into magical or occult practices, as these can potentially expose one to spiritual malevolence.
The experience advocates for the assessment of relationships based on one’s primary responsibilities and caution against becoming excessively absorbed in another person; stressing the necessity of stepping back or ending a relationship if it hinders spiritual growth.
“I began, then, by going to confession to that priest of whom I spoke before.119 He took an extreme liking to me, because I had then but little to confess in comparison with what I had afterwards; and I had never much to say since I became a nun. There was no harm in the liking he had for me, but it ceased to be good, because it was in excess. He clearly understood that I was determined on no account whatever to do anything whereby God might be seriously offended. He, too, gave me a like assurance about himself, and accordingly our conferences were many. But at that time, through the knowledge and fear of God which filled my soul, what gave me most pleasure in all my conversations with others was to speak of God; and, as I was so young, this made him ashamed; and then, out of that great goodwill he bore me, he began to tell me of his wretched state. It was very sad, for he had been nearly seven years in a most perilous condition, because of his affection for, and conversation with, a woman of that place; and yet he used to say Mass. The matter was so public, that his honour and good name were lost, and no one ventured to speak to him about it. I was extremely sorry for him, because I liked him much. I was then so imprudent and so blind as to think it a virtue to be grateful and loyal to one who liked me. Cursed be that loyalty which reaches so far as to go against the law of God. It is a madness common in the world, and it makes me mad to see it. We are indebted to God for all the good that men do to us, and yet we hold it to be an act of virtue not to break a friendship of this kind, though it lead us to go against Him. Oh, blindness of the world! Let me, O Lord, be most ungrateful to the world; never at all unto Thee. But I have been altogether otherwise through my sins.
I procured further information about the matter from members of his household; I learned more of his ruinous state, and saw that the poor man’s fault was not so grave, because the miserable woman had had recourse to enchantments, by giving him a little image made of copper, which she had begged him to wear for love of her around his neck; and this no one had influence enough to persuade him to throw away. As to this matter of enchantments, I do not believe it to be altogether true; but I will relate what I saw, by way of warning to men to be on their guard against women who will do things of this kind. And let them be assured of this, that women—for they are more bound to purity than men—if once they have lost all shame before God, are in nothing whatever to be trusted; and that in exchange for the gratification of their will, and of that affection which the devil suggests, they will hesitate at nothing.
Though I have been so wicked myself, I never fell into anything of this kind, nor did I ever attempt to do evil; nor, if I had the power, would I have ever constrained any one to like me, for our Lord kept me from this. But if He had abandoned me, I should have done wrong in this, as I did in other things—for there is nothing in me whereon anyone may rely.”
Excerpt from Chapter 5 from “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”
Listen Here to the Discerning Hearts audio recording of “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus” by St. Teresa of Avila
Anthony Lilles, S.T.D. is an associate professor and the academic dean of Saint John’s Seminary in Camarillo as well as the academic advisor for Juan Diego House of Priestly Formation for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. For over twenty years he served the Church in Northern Colorado where he joined and eventually served as dean of the founding faculty of Saint John Vianney Theological Seminary in Denver. Through the years, clergy, seminarians, religious and lay faithful have benefited from his lectures and retreat conferences on the Carmelite Doctors of the Church and the writings of St. Elisabeth of the Trinity.
Struggles with Sin and Patience – The Life of St. Teresa of Avila – Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles
Join Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor as they dive into the life of St. Teresa of Avila, using her autobiography, “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”. In this episode, Dr. Lilles goes over how as a young adult, Teresa was already experiencing advanced favors in prayer and was practicing recollection. However, she was also struggling with sin and backsliding, which hindered her spiritual growth. She was inspired by a fellow sister who showed great patience in suffering, and asked God for the grace to have the same patience. Teresa’s journey was also marked by struggles with confessors who gave her bad counsel, downplaying the seriousness of her sins.
They also discuss the concept of fear of the Lord, explaining that it is not about fearing God as an angry tyrant, but understanding that sin is repugnant to God because it harms us and prevents us from fulfilling our purpose.
“I forgot to say how, in the year of my novitiate, I suffered much uneasiness about things in themselves of no importance; but I was found fault with very often when I was blameless. I bore it painfully and with imperfection; however, I went through it all, because of the joy I had in being a nun. When they saw me seeking to be alone, and even weeping over my sins at times, they thought I was discontented, and said so.
All religious observances had an attraction for me, but I could not endure any which seemed to make me contemptible. I delighted in being thought well of by others, and was very exact in everything I had to do. All this I thought was a virtue, though it will not serve as any excuse for me, because I knew what it was to procure my own satisfaction in everything, and so ignorance does not blot out the blame. There may be some excuse in the fact that the monastery was not founded in great perfection. I, wicked as I was, followed after that which I saw was wrong, and neglected that which was good.
There was then in the house a nun labouring under a most grievous and painful disorder, for there were open ulcers in her body, caused by certain obstructions, through which her food was rejected. Of this sickness she soon died. All the sisters, I saw, were afraid of her malady. I envied her patience very much; I prayed to God that He would give me a like patience; and then, whatever sickness it might be His pleasure to send, I do not think I was afraid of any, for I was resolved on gaining eternal good, and determined to gain it by any and by every means.”
Excerpt from Chapter 5 from “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus of The Order of Our Lady of Carmel”
Listen Here to the Discerning Hearts audio recording of “The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus” by St. Teresa of Avila
Anthony Lilles, S.T.D. is an associate professor and the academic dean of Saint John’s Seminary in Camarillo as well as the academic advisor for Juan Diego House of Priestly Formation for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. For over twenty years he served the Church in Northern Colorado where he joined and eventually served as dean of the founding faculty of Saint John Vianney Theological Seminary in Denver. Through the years, clergy, seminarians, religious and lay faithful have benefited from his lectures and retreat conferences on the Carmelite Doctors of the Church and the writings of St. Elisabeth of the Trinity.
Monsignor John Esseff discusses the importance of love and the dangers of self-obsession. He uses the parable of the talents from the Gospel of Matthew to illustrate his point, explaining that the talents represent love and the servants represent different levels of capacity for love. He warns against laziness and self-obsession, using figures like Hitler and Stalin as examples of individuals who had little capacity for love and caused great suffering. He encourages listeners to exercise their capacity for love and witness love in the world. He also discusses the role of fear in blocking love and the importance of understanding that love multiplies when given away. He concludes by urging listeners to be aware of their capacity for love and to use it to bring light into the world.
Jesus told his disciples this parable:
“A man going on a journey
called in his servants and entrusted his possessions to them.
To one he gave five talents; to another, two; to a third, one–
to each according to his ability.
Then he went away.
Immediately the one who received five talents went and traded with them,
and made another five.
Likewise, the one who received two made another two.
But the man who received one went off and dug a hole in the ground
and buried his master’s money.
After a long time
the master of those servants came back
and settled accounts with them.
The one who had received five talents came forward
bringing the additional five.
He said, ‘Master, you gave me five talents.
See, I have made five more.’
His master said to him, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant.
Since you were faithful in small matters,
I will give you great responsibilities.
Come, share your master’s joy.’
Then the one who had received two talents also came forward and said,
‘Master, you gave me two talents.
See, I have made two more.’
His master said to him, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant.
Since you were faithful in small matters,
I will give you great responsibilities.
Come, share your master’s joy.’
Then the one who had received the one talent came forward and said,
‘Master, I knew you were a demanding person,
harvesting where you did not plant
and gathering where you did not scatter;
so out of fear I went off and buried your talent in the ground.
Here it is back.’
His master said to him in reply, ‘You wicked, lazy servant!
So you knew that I harvest where I did not plant
and gather where I did not scatter?
Should you not then have put my money in the bank
so that I could have got it back with interest on my return?
Now then! Take the talent from him and give it to the one with ten.
For to everyone who has,
more will be given and he will grow rich;
but from the one who has not,
even what he has will be taken away.
And throw this useless servant into the darkness outside,
where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.'”
Msgr. John A. Esseff is a Roman Catholic priest in the Diocese of Scranton. Msgr. Esseff served as a retreat director and confessor to St. Teresa of Calcutta. He continues to offer direction and retreats for the Sisters of the Missionaries of Charity. Msgr. Esseff encountered St. Padre Pio, who would become his spiritual father. He has lived in areas around the world, serving in the Pontifical Missions, a Catholic organization established by Pope St. John Paul II to bring the Good News to the world, especially to the poor. Msgr. Esseff assisted the founders of the Institute for Priestly Formation and continues to serve as a spiritual director. He continues to serve as a retreat leader and director to bishops, priests, sisters, seminarians, and other religious leaders worldwide.
THERE was a man of venerable life, Benedict by name and grace, who from the time of his very childhood carried the heart of an old man. His demeanour indeed surpassing his age, he gave himself no disport or pleasure, but living here upon earth he despised the world with all the glory thereof, at such time as he might have most freely enjoyed it. He was born in the province of Nursia of honourable parentage and sent to Rome to study the liberal sciences. But when he saw there many through the uneven paths of vice run headlong