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I Feel Alone – Struggles in the Spiritual Life with Fr. Timothy Gallagher O.M.V.
Fr. Timothy Gallagher illustrates the struggles in the process of discernment with Kathy’s story, a woman who, after experiencing spiritual closeness with God, is confronted by a deeply buried pain triggered during prayer. Kathy feels abandoned by God, prompting her to stop praying and isolate herself emotionally. Guided by her spiritual director, Fr. Reed, Kathy learns that she can openly share her pain and anger with God, drawing on examples from the Psalms and the Book of Job, where people express their raw emotions before God.
Through this honest dialogue, Kathy finds a path back to a real and growing relationship with God, learning that spiritual desolation can sometimes serve as a gateway to greater intimacy with Him. Fr. Gallagher emphasizes that while desolation may make us feel distant from God, the experience can deepen our relationship with Him if we remain faithful, seek guidance, and avoid making drastic changes to our spiritual practices.
You can pick up a copy of the book here.
Discerning Hearts Reflection Questions
- Understanding Spiritual Desolation: How have you experienced feelings of isolation or distance from God, and how did you respond?
- Seeking Guidance: Who are the trusted individuals in your life whom you could approach for spiritual guidance during times of struggle?
- Expressing Raw Emotions to God: In what ways could you bring your true feelings of pain or anger to God in prayer, as Kathy learned to do?
- Reflection on Consolation and Desolation: How can you recognize moments of consolation in your spiritual life, and how might they prepare you for future struggles?
- Role of Patience and Perseverance: What small steps or practices could help you stand firm in faith during times of spiritual desolation?
- Recognizing God’s Presence: How might you grow in awareness of God’s closeness, even when feelings of distance prevail?
- Application of Ignatian Tools: Which of the Ignatian tools for resisting spiritual desolation resonates most with you, and how can you integrate it into your daily spiritual life?
- Encountering Jesus in Your Pain: Reflect on a past pain or loss; how does the image of Jesus weeping with Lazarus’s sisters offer comfort in your own grief?
- Freedom from Stagnation in Spiritual Life: Are there areas in your spiritual journey where you feel “stuck,” and how could sharing with someone help you move forward?
- Embracing Growth Through Struggle: How can you view spiritual desolation as an invitation to deeper intimacy with God rather than as a setback?
An excerpt from the chapter, “I Feel Alone “:
“In a final form of spiritual desolation, Ignatius tells us, a person feels “as if separated from his Creator and Lord.” Cathy experiences this strongly in the weeks described: “All that closeness and warmth of God’s love? It’s gone like smoke. . . . I’m sitting in the kitchen as I write, and I feel like I’m here, and God is a million miles away.” I’m here, and God is a million miles away. I’m here, sitting in my kitchen, alone in my apartment, commuting to work, driving to pick up the children, sitting at my computer . . . and you are a million miles away, distant, remote.
Have you ever felt that? Yes, certainly, you have, and I have. Once more: no shame, no surprise; be aware, identify, reject.”
Gallagher O.M.V, Fr. Timothy ; Gallagher O.M.V, Fr. Timothy. Struggles in the Spiritual Life: Their Nature and Their Remedies (p. 89). Sophia Institute Press. Kindle Edition.
To find more episodes from this series, visit the Struggles in the Spiritual Life Podcast
From the book’s description:
“Here is a powerful, life-changing book that will help you understand and conquer the struggles you face in your spiritual life. It’s a book for those who love the Lord and desire holiness yet often feel adrift or stagnant in their search for spiritual growth.
All of us encounter valleys on our journey with the Lord — those periods of spiritual desolation that are a painful yet unavoidable feature of our prayer life. Spiritual desolation is as complex as we are, so understanding what is happening and responding to it properly are critical to reaching the heights of holiness.
With warmth and understanding, Fr. Gallagher carefully identifies in this book the various forms of spiritual and nonspiritual desolation and supplies the remedy for each. You’ll learn how to discern whether your struggles derive from medical or psychological conditions or whether those struggles are spiritual and permitted by the Lord for reasons of growth. In each case, you’ll be given the remedy for the struggle. You’ll also learn the forms of spiritual dryness and of the Dark Night — and how to respond to them.
In chapter after chapter, Fr. Gallagher presents a particular struggle as experienced by fictional characters and then provides the advice he gives to those who come to him for spiritual direction about that struggle. You’ll gain confidence as you journey through desolation, and you’ll learn to reject the enemy’s ploys to infect you with a sense of hopelessness.“
