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I Don’t Feel God’s Love – Struggles in the Spiritual Life with Fr. Timothy Gallagher O.M.V.
Fr. Timothy Gallagher and Kris McGregor discuss the spiritual journey, focusing on the experience of spiritual consolation and desolation using the story of Kathy, a participant in a six-week parish prayer program, as an example of how these experiences manifest in the life of prayer.
Kathy begins her prayer journey with moments of spiritual consolation, feeling God’s presence and love. As she engages deeply with scripture, she experiences a growing intimacy with God. However, as time progresses, she faces spiritual desolation, feeling abandoned and struggling with past pain, specifically related to her experience of cancer and the loss of the ability to have children. This leads to feelings of anger toward God, and she questions why she should continue praying.
Such desolation is a normal part of spiritual growth and not a sign that something is going wrong. Rather, it is often an invitation to deeper healing, as God touches painful areas of the soul that need to be addressed. In times of desolation, one should seek guidance from a spiritual director or a trusted companion in the faith to help make sense of the experience.
Spiritual desolation, while difficult, can lead to significant spiritual growth, helping individuals become more rooted in their relationship with God and opening them to new forms of healing and grace.
You can pick up a copy of the book here.
Discerning Hearts Reflection Questions
- How do you handle spiritual desolation?
Reflect on how you respond when you feel distant from God, and whether you seek guidance or attempt to push through on your own. - Are you open to spiritual growth through challenges?
Consider if you view spiritual desolation as an opportunity for growth and healing, even when it feels painful. - Do you seek spiritual support when needed?
Think about whether you reach out to spiritual directors, friends, or companions during times of desolation to help understand what God may be doing in your life. - Can you recognize God’s presence in both consolation and desolation?
Reflect on whether you are able to see God’s hand at work during moments of consolation and desolation, understanding that both are part of the spiritual journey. - Do you maintain faith during difficult spiritual moments?
Consider if you hold on to trust in God’s love and purpose even when you feel abandoned, and how you might cultivate resilience in your prayer life.
An excerpt from the chapter, “I Don’t Feel God’s Love”:
“This is yet another form of spiritual desolation: times when we feel no sense of God’s love, of His closeness, of warm love for others in God, but rather, we feel a kind of spiritual distance and coldness. As we’ve said so often, there is no shame in experiencing this. To feel this form of spiritual desolation does not mean that God does not love us, that we do not love Him, or that we do not desire to love others.
It simply means that God is permitting us to undergo a time of spiritual desolation because of the growth we gain when we go through it well (see the final paragraph of chapter 8). Cathy’s spiritual desolation as she prays with the calming of the storm is actually a sign that her prayer is progressing richly. For ten years, a wound in her heart has remained unhealed. God loves her too much to allow this to continue unaddressed. Almost inevitably, as she grows closer to God in prayer, this wound is touched. When it is, spiritual desolation results: pain, anger, a sense of distance from God, and an absence of all warmth. If Cathy finds wise counsel to help her understand this and if she does not stop praying, then, for the first time in ten years, deep spiritual healing can occur. Like the disciples in the boat and like Lazarus’s sisters, she will find that if Jesus slept and if he delayed two days, it was because he loved them and had a greater gift to give.”
Gallagher O.M.V, Fr. Timothy ; Gallagher O.M.V, Fr. Timothy. Struggles in the Spiritual Life: Their Nature and Their Remedies (pp. 66-67). Sophia Institute Press. Kindle Edition.
To find more episodes from this series, visit the Struggles in the Spiritual Life Podcast
From the book’s description:
“Here is a powerful, life-changing book that will help you understand and conquer the struggles you face in your spiritual life. It’s a book for those who love the Lord and desire holiness yet often feel adrift or stagnant in their search for spiritual growth.
All of us encounter valleys on our journey with the Lord — those periods of spiritual desolation that are a painful yet unavoidable feature of our prayer life. Spiritual desolation is as complex as we are, so understanding what is happening and responding to it properly are critical to reaching the heights of holiness.
With warmth and understanding, Fr. Gallagher carefully identifies in this book the various forms of spiritual and nonspiritual desolation and supplies the remedy for each. You’ll learn how to discern whether your struggles derive from medical or psychological conditions or whether those struggles are spiritual and permitted by the Lord for reasons of growth. In each case, you’ll be given the remedy for the struggle. You’ll also learn the forms of spiritual dryness and of the Dark Night — and how to respond to them.
In chapter after chapter, Fr. Gallagher presents a particular struggle as experienced by fictional characters and then provides the advice he gives to those who come to him for spiritual direction about that struggle. You’ll gain confidence as you journey through desolation, and you’ll learn to reject the enemy’s ploys to infect you with a sense of hopelessness.“
