IP#344 Timothy Muldoon - The Discerning Parent on Inside the Pages with Kris McGregor

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Timothy Muldoon – The Discerning Parent on Inside the Pages with Kris McGregor

Kris McGregor speaks with theologian and author Timothy Muldoon about The Discerning Parent: An Ignatian Guide to Raising Your Teen, co-written with his wife, Sue. Ignatian spirituality offers a helpful framework for parenting teens—not by prescribing rigid methods, but by inviting parents into a deeper awareness of their own spiritual journey as they accompany their children. Rather than presenting a “how-to” manual, the book encourages a reflective, prayerful stance that allows for genuine listening to both God and the child. It highlights the importance of recognizing each teen’s unique development and being attentive to how God might be working in their life without oversteering or controlling their path.

The challenge many parents face in fearing their children might drift from the Church, and how that fear often reflects unresolved questions in the parent’s own spiritual life. He draws on the example of Saint Monica and the Ignatian principle of letting God deal directly with each soul. The book invites parents to shift from decision-making to discernment, cultivating what Muldoon calls the “acoustics of the heart”—a spiritual sensitivity that helps both parent and child recognize what aligns with God’s voice. Topics like moral development, body awareness, and complex issues like social media and sexuality are approached through reflection and conversation, not prescriptive answers.

Discerning Hearts Reflection Questions

How is God inviting me to grow spiritually through the experience of parenting my teen?
In what ways am I truly listening to my child’s heart rather than reacting out of fear or control?
Have I taken time to reflect on how my own relationship with God shapes how I parent?
Do I trust that God is actively at work in my child’s life, even when I cannot see it clearly?
How can I model discernment and prayerful reflection for my teen in daily life?
Am I fostering a space in our home where faith is lived, questioned, and deepened with honesty?
What fears do I need to surrender to God when I think about my child’s faith journey?
How am I encouraging moral reflection and conscience development in my teen?
When faced with difficult topics like sexuality or peer pressure, do I approach them with compassion, truth, and openness?
In what ways is God using my child to challenge or refine my own faith and values?

You can find the book here

From the book description:

“This thoughtful approach shows you how to talk with your children openly about freedom vs. limits, friendships, family time, sexuality, the use and abuse of technology, faith and Catholic practice, recognizing the needs of others, and getting through hard times together. You’ll discover when to be tough and when to be forgiving, when to control and when to give freedom, when to give feedback and when to wait. You will learn the importance of praying for your teens, and the important of praying together as a family.

Daily and weekly prayers, devotions, and meditations will guide you as the Muldoons show how this is a time of discernment for you as well as your teens–and create a way for you to move through these challenging years together. The Discerning Parent offers you an opportunity to pause and consider your life and your teen’s in the light of faith.”

About the Author

Timothy P. Muldoon is a philosopher, theologian, and author of many books in the areas of Christian theology and spirituality. His research interests in both Philosophy and Theology include the thought of Bernard Lonergan, SJ, particularly as his work sheds light on reversing cultural decline; and the history and practice of Christian spirituality, particularly in the Ignatian tradition. He held several administrative and teaching roles at Boston College since 2005, and joined the Philosophy Department in 2020. He has held visiting professorships at LaSalle University, the Catholic University of America, and Washington Theological Union, and has lectured widely in the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom. Prior to coming to Boston College, he was the Chair of the Department of Religious Studies, Philosophy, and Theology at Mount Aloysius College in Cresson, Pennsylvania. His current work involves the philosophy of community and the promotion of flourishing communities.