16. But to attain to this love the soul must first be “entirely surrendered, its “will must be calmly lost in God’s will; so that its “inclinations,” “its faculties” “move only in this love and for the sake of this love. I do every with love, I suffer everything with love: this is what David meant when he sang, ‘I will keep all my strength for You.'”
We would like to offer heartfelt thanks toMiriam Gutierrez for providing for us “the voice” of Blessed Elizabeth for this series
Anthony Lilles, S.T.D. is an associate professor and the academic dean of Saint John’s Seminary in Camarillo as well as the academic advisor for Juan Diego House of Priestly Formation for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. For over twenty years he served the Church in Northern Colorado where he joined and eventually served as dean of the founding faculty of Saint John Vianney Theological Seminary in Denver. Through the years, clergy, seminarians, religious and lay faithful have benefited from his lectures and retreat conferences on the Carmelite Doctors of the Church and the writings of Blessed Elisabeth of the Trinity.
13. “Dues ignis consumens,” Our God, wrote St. Paul, is a consuming Fire, that is a “a fire of love” which destroys, which “transforms into itself everything that it touches.” “The delights of the divine enkindling are renewed in our depths by an unremitting activity: the enkindling of love in a mutual and eternal satisfaction. It is a renewal that takes place at every moment in there eternally, and this is the silence in which, somehow, they have lost themselves.” “Freed from their prison, they sail on the Ocean of Divinity without any creature being an obstacle or hindrance to them.”
We would like to offer heartfelt thanks toMiriam Gutierrez for providing for us “the voice” of Blessed Elizabeth for this series
Anthony Lilles, S.T.D. is an associate professor and the academic dean of Saint John’s Seminary in Camarillo as well as the academic advisor for Juan Diego House of Priestly Formation for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. For over twenty years he served the Church in Northern Colorado where he joined and eventually served as dean of the founding faculty of Saint John Vianney Theological Seminary in Denver. Through the years, clergy, seminarians, religious and lay faithful have benefited from his lectures and retreat conferences on the Carmelite Doctors of the Church and the writings of Blessed Elisabeth of the Trinity.
11. “You have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God” St. Paul comes to bring us a light to guide us on the pathway of the abyss. “You have died”! What does that mean but that the soul that aspires to live close to God “in the invincible fortress of holy recollection” must be “set apart, stripped, and withdrawn from all things” (in spirit). This soul “finds within itself a simple ascending movement of love to God, whatever creatures may do; it is invincible to things which” pass away, “for it transcends them, seeking God alone.”
We would like to offer heartfelt thanks toMiriam Gutierrez for providing for us “the voice” of Blessed Elizabeth for this series
Anthony Lilles, S.T.D. is an associate professor and the academic dean of Saint John’s Seminary in Camarillo as well as the academic advisor for Juan Diego House of Priestly Formation for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. For over twenty years he served the Church in Northern Colorado where he joined and eventually served as dean of the founding faculty of Saint John Vianney Theological Seminary in Denver. Through the years, clergy, seminarians, religious and lay faithful have benefited from his lectures and retreat conferences on the Carmelite Doctors of the Church and the writings of Blessed Elisabeth of the Trinity.
8. “Each incident, each event, each suffering, as well as each joy, is a sacrament which gives God to it; so it no longer makes a distinction between these things; it surmounts them, goes beyond them to rest in its Master, above all things. It “exalts” Him high on the “mountain of its heart,” yes, “higher than His gifts, His consolation, higher than the sweetness that descends from Him.” “The property of love is never to seek self, to keep back nothing, but to give everything to the one it loves.” “Blessed the soul that loves” in truth; “the Lord has become its captive through love”!
We would like to offer heartfelt thanks toMiriam Gutierrez for providing for us “the voice” of Blessed Elizabeth for this series
Anthony Lilles, S.T.D. is an associate professor and the academic dean of Saint John’s Seminary in Camarillo as well as the academic advisor for Juan Diego House of Priestly Formation for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. For over twenty years he served the Church in Northern Colorado where he joined and eventually served as dean of the founding faculty of Saint John Vianney Theological Seminary in Denver. Through the years, clergy, seminarians, religious and lay faithful have benefited from his lectures and retreat conferences on the Carmelite Doctors of the Church and the writings of Blessed Elisabeth of the Trinity.
8. “As long as our will has fancies that are foreign to divine union, whims that are now yes, now no, we are like children: we do not advance with giant steps in love for fire has not yet burnt up all the alloy; the gold is not pure; we are still seeking ourselves; God has not consumed” all our hostility to Him. But when the boiling cauldron has consumed “every imperfect love, every imperfect sorrow, every imperfect fear,” “then love is perfect and the golden ring of our alliance is larger than Heaven and earth. The is the secret cellar in which love places his elect,” this “love leads us by ways and paths known to him alone and he leads us with no turning back, for we will not retrace our steps.”
We would like to offer heartfelt thanks toMiriam Gutierrez for providing for us “the voice” of Blessed Elizabeth for this series
Anthony Lilles, S.T.D. is an associate professor and the academic dean of Saint John’s Seminary in Camarillo as well as the academic advisor for Juan Diego House of Priestly Formation for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. For over twenty years he served the Church in Northern Colorado where he joined and eventually served as dean of the founding faculty of Saint John Vianney Theological Seminary in Denver. Through the years, clergy, seminarians, religious and lay faithful have benefited from his lectures and retreat conferences on the Carmelite Doctors of the Church and the writings of Blessed Elisabeth of the Trinity.
6. The same saint also says that “God is the center of the soul. So when the soul with all” its “strength will know God perfectly, love and enjoy Him fully, then it will have reached the deepest center that can be attained in Him.” Before attaining this, the soul is already “in God who is its center,” “but it is not yet in its deepest center, for it can still go further. Since love is what unites us to God, the more intense this love is, the more deeply the soul enters into God and the more it is centered in Him. When it “possess even one degree of love it is already in its center”; but when this love has attained its perfection, the soul will have penetrated into its deepest enter. There it will be transformed to the point of becoming very like God.”
We would like to offer heartfelt thanks toMiriam Gutierrez for providing for us “the voice” of Blessed Elizabeth for this series
Anthony Lilles, S.T.D. is an associate professor and the academic dean of Saint John’s Seminary in Camarillo as well as the academic advisor for Juan Diego House of Priestly Formation for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. For over twenty years he served the Church in Northern Colorado where he joined and eventually served as dean of the founding faculty of Saint John Vianney Theological Seminary in Denver. Through the years, clergy, seminarians, religious and lay faithful have benefited from his lectures and retreat conferences on the Carmelite Doctors of the Church and the writings of Blessed Elisabeth of the Trinity.
3.“Remain in Me.” 10 It is the Word of God who gives this order, expresses this wish. Remain in Me, not for a few moments, a few hours which must pass away, but “remain . . .” permanently, habitually, Remain in Me, pray in Me, adore in Me, love in Me, suffer in Me, work and act in Me. Remain in Me so that you may be able to encounter anyone or anything; penetrate further still into these depths. This is truly the “solitude into which God wants to allure the soul that He may speak to it,” as the prophet sang. 11
4. In order to understand this very mysterious saying, we must not, so to speak, stop at the surface, but enter ever deeper into the divine Being through recollection. “I pursue my course,” 12 exclaimed St. Paul; so must we descend daily this pathway of the Abyss13 which is God; let us slide down this slope14 in wholly loving confidence. “Abyss calls to abyss.” 15 It is there in the very depths that the divine impact16 takes place, where the abyss of our nothingness encounters the Abyss of mercy, 17 the immensity of the all18 of God. There we will find the strength to die to ourselves and, losing all vestige of self, we will be changed into love. . . . “Blessed are those who die in the Lord”!
We would like to offer heartfelt thanks toMiriam Gutierrez for providing for us “the voice” of Blessed Elizabeth for this series
Anthony Lilles, S.T.D. is an associate professor and the academic dean of Saint John’s Seminary in Camarillo as well as the academic advisor for Juan Diego House of Priestly Formation for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. For over twenty years he served the Church in Northern Colorado where he joined and eventually served as dean of the founding faculty of Saint John Vianney Theological Seminary in Denver. Through the years, clergy, seminarians, religious and lay faithful have benefited from his lectures and retreat conferences on the Carmelite Doctors of the Church and the writings of Blessed Elisabeth of the Trinity.
a posting which originally appeared on Dr. Lilles’ “Beginning to Pray” website
Jesus, the Risen Lord, is truly present in this moment. In the midst of difficulty or rest, sorrow or joy, He is with us, fully alive, more real than all the rest of reality combined. He is present with great humility and respect: asking as if He were a starving beggar, seeking as if He were the one who had lost something and knocking as if He had no right to enter. He is here, in this moment and in every moment, above all space and time, over all circumstance and trial, waiting for us to open the door.The Victor once and for all, He has been raised and set apart to judge the living and the dead, not in the distant future, but now in the present moment. Only those who are pierced to the heart by love can accept the judgment of His justice and truth, and how I long for my own heart to be pierced so that at last I might know that freedom of love that He alone can give.Spiritual freedom flows from His touch and even now He holds out His hands towards us. Those who believe in Him find forgiveness. Even as we confess our sins and repent of our rash judgments, He silences the voice of condemnation that cries against us.
He has suffered death and passed through hell to restore peace to our troubled consciences because He did not create us for self torment. He has come Himself because He alone has the power and authority to liberate us from such a hellish burden. In Him, we discover that the power of misery is not absolute and that evil does not have the last word. Darkness vanishes before His light. He reigns unconquered and invites us to join Him.
Who will separate us from His love? Who can prevent us from living the life that He has come to give? Worldly powers could not silence Him. Suffering could not diminish Him. Death could not contain Him. Every knee is bent before Him and every head is bowed in His presence. He rules forever at the right hand of the Father.
Against all falsehood, he shines forth forever true. Though winds of false teachings and all kinds of myths seem to hold sway, He is a sure anchor, a safe-harbor in the storm. In the midst of a changing sea of confusion, He stands as the sure reference point of life and every decision. In the midst of rancor and contention, whether within our hearts or in our communities, He is the only true source of peace.
The Word of the Father is the Love that is stronger than death. He is Truth unvanquiahed. He is the living waters of the deep dug well of salvation. He calls in whispers that thunder in our hearts. He gazes on us with love though we have done nothing to deserve it. He hopes in us and rejoices when we raise our eyes to Him if only for a moment. The Lord of Life longs for us to share our hearts with Him freely and to share His heart with us completely in that moment which will have no end.
Day 1 – The Last Retreat by St. Elizabeth of the Trinity- Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles
Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor discuss St. Elizabeth of the Trinity’s Last Retreat, written during her final illness. In this reflection, Elizabeth expresses her desire to know nothing but Christ, embracing suffering as a path to union with Him. She sees contemplation as a transformative encounter, where deeper knowledge of Jesus leads to becoming more like Him. Elizabeth’s vocation as “Laudem Gloriae” (Praise of Glory) reflects her call to glorify God through suffering, prayer, and silence. Her insights remain relevant, especially through practices like Eucharistic adoration and silent scriptural meditation, which open the heart to Christ’s wisdom.
St. Elizabeth presents the Blessed Virgin as the one who most profoundly understood Christ, making her a model and mother in the spiritual life. Connecting this to St. John Paul II’s teaching on Mary’s maternal mediation, she leads us to embrace the cross. Suffering is an inevitable part of Christian life, but through trust in Christ and the intercession of Mary, it becomes a means of revealing God’s glory. St. Elizabeth’s example demonstrates how even in profound weakness, one can offer everything to God, making suffering a pathway to divine love.
Discerning Hearts Reflection Questions
Embracing Christ in Suffering: St. Elizabeth of the Trinity teaches that suffering can be a path to deeper union with Christ—how can you embrace your own trials with faith rather than resistance?
Contemplation as Transformation: Elizabeth describes mystical prayer as a way of forgetting everything but Christ—how can you cultivate silence and stillness in your daily life to grow in deeper awareness of His presence?
The Role of Mary in Spiritual Growth: Elizabeth points to the Blessed Virgin as the one who most deeply understood Christ—how can you entrust your spiritual journey to Mary and allow her to guide you closer to her Son?
Living as a Praise of Glory: Elizabeth saw her vocation as glorifying God in all circumstances—how can you offer your daily life, even in suffering, as a praise of God’s glory?
The Power of Surrender: Elizabeth’s words reflect a total surrender to God’s will—what attachments or fears keep you from fully trusting in God, and how can you begin surrendering them today?
1. “Nescivi.” 1 “I no longer knew anything.” This is what the “bride of the Canticles ” sings after having been brought into the “inner cellar.” 2 It seems to me that this must also be the refrain of a praise of glory on this first day of retreat in which the Master makes her penetrate the depths of the bottomless abyss so that He may teach her to fulfill the work which will be hers for eternity and which she must already perform in time, which is eternity begun and still in progress. 3 “Nescivi”! I no longer know anything, I do not want to know anything except “to
know Him, to share in His sufferings, to become like Him in His death.” 4 “Those whom God has foreknown He has also predestined to become confirmed to the image of His divine Son,” 5 the One crucified by love. When I am wholly identified with this divine Exemplar, 6 when I have wholly passed into Him and He into me, then I will fulfill my eternal vocation: the one for which God has “chosen me in Him ” 7 “in principio,” the one I will continue “in aeternum” when, immersed in the bosom of my Trinity, I will be the unceasing praise of His glory, Laudem gloriae ejus.
Anthony Lilles, S.T.D., has served the Church and assisted in the formation of clergy and seminarians since 1994. Before coming to St. Patrick’s, he served at seminaries and houses of formation in the Archdiocese of Denver and the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. The son of a California farmer, married with young adult children, holds a B.A. in theology from the Franciscan University of Steubenville with both the ecclesiastical licentiate and doctorate in spiritual theology from the Pontifical University of Saint Thomas Aquinas in Rome (the Angelicum). An expert in the writings of St. Elizabeth of the Trinity and the Carmelite Doctors of the Church, he co-founded the Avila Institute for Spiritual Formation and the High Calling Program for priestly vocations. He also founded the John Paul II Center for Contemplative Culture, which hosts symposiums, retreats, and conferences. In addition to his publications, he blogs at www.beginningtopray.com .
Day 2 – The Last Retreat by St. Elizabeth of the Trinity- Beginning to Pray with Dr. Anthony Lilles
Dr. Anthony Lilles and Kris McGregor explore St. Elizabeth of the Trinity’s retreat writings, particularly her reflections on interior silence and self-possession in Christ. St. Elizabeth describes how true peace comes from gathering one’s interior faculties through silence and surrendering them to God. She highlights the significance of the phrase Nihi, meaning “I no longer know anything but Him,” illustrating the soul’s complete focus on God despite external turmoil or inner struggles. Drawing from Carmelite spirituality, holy recollection fosters this unity with God, allowing the soul to become a vessel for divine grace and harmony.
The transformative power of suffering and trials gives us a chance to use them as opportunities for deeper union with God rather than obstacles to peace. Dr. Lilles connects Elizabeth’s teachings to the experiences of Mary Magdalene and the contemplative example of Mary of Bethany, emphasizing the need to choose “the one thing necessary”—a heart undistracted by worldly concerns. He also recounts Elizabeth’s personal battle with suffering in her final days, showing how her unwavering focus on Christ enabled her to endure spiritual and physical affliction with profound trust. This episode offers a compelling call to embrace silence, recollection, and surrender as pathways to deeper intimacy with God.
Discerning Hearts Reflection Questions
The Call to Interior Silence: How can you cultivate a habit of holy recollection in your daily life to remain more present to God?
Self-Possession in Christ: In what ways do distractions, emotions, or external pressures pull you away from maintaining a prayerful awareness of Christ?
The Meaning of Nihi: What does it mean for you personally to surrender everything to God and say, “I no longer know anything but Him”?
Suffering as an Opportunity for Grace: How can trials and hardships in your life be seen as invitations to deeper union with Christ rather than obstacles to peace?
Learning from Mary Magdalene: What aspects of Mary Magdalene’s transformation and devotion inspire you to grow in your own relationship with Christ?
The Role of Holy Recollection in Spiritual Growth: How can you incorporate moments of silent prayer and reflection into your daily routine to foster greater intimacy with God?
Trusting in God’s Hidden Presence: When God feels distant or silent, how can you strengthen your faith and remain steadfast in trust?
The Soul as a Throne of the Holy Trinity: What steps can you take to align your thoughts, emotions, and desires more fully with God’s will so that your soul becomes a dwelling place for His presence?
5. It is the same for the soul that has entered into the “fortress of holy recollection”: the eye of its soul, opened in the light of faith, discovers its God present, living within it; in turn it remains so present to Him, in beautiful simplicity, that He guards it with a jealous care. Then disturbances from without and tempests from within may arise; its self-esteem may be wounded: “Nescivi”! God may hide Himself, withdraw His sensible grace: “Nescivi .” Or, as St. Paul writes: “For love of Him I have forfeited everything.” Then the Master is free, free to flow into the soul, to give Himself “according to His measure.” And the soul thus simplified, unified, becomes the throne of the Unchanging One, since “unity is the throne of the Holy Trinity.”
Anthony Lilles, S.T.D., has served the Church and assisted in the formation of clergy and seminarians since 1994. Before coming to St. Patrick’s, he served at seminaries and houses of formation in the Archdiocese of Denver and the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. The son of a California farmer, married with young adult children, holds a B.A. in theology from the Franciscan University of Steubenville with both the ecclesiastical licentiate and doctorate in spiritual theology from the Pontifical University of Saint Thomas Aquinas in Rome (the Angelicum). An expert in the writings of St. Elizabeth of the Trinity and the Carmelite Doctors of the Church, he co-founded the Avila Institute for Spiritual Formation and the High Calling Program for priestly vocations. He also founded the John Paul II Center for Contemplative Culture, which hosts symposiums, retreats, and conferences. In addition to his publications, he blogs at www.beginningtopray.com .
